Living in Peace
I want to discuss Peace from a different perspective.
I believe most people have a misconception about what peace is. Some dictionaries define it as “free of disturbance,” and many people strive to live that way. But I believe that living that way can also be dysfunctional and disturbing when in excess.
A normal electrocardiogram has ups and downs and straight lines. Such movements tell us we’re alive; seeing a flat line means we’re dead.
Being peaceful doesn’t mean having zero conflict or fear conflict. It doesn’t mean to be disengaged, unresponsive, and complacent. Nor does it mean going along with others’ wishes against our own or falling into conventional roles to meet others’ expectations.
Being peaceful doesn’t mean “sweeping things under the rug.” Many times, people experience dysfunctional behaviors in the family environment with anger and violence, alcohol, and drug abuse, but the next morning, they pretend nothing happened and settle for, “pass me the marmalade” just to avoid conflict. Can this be peaceful?
I don’t think peace means to hide in your comfort zone and play safe. I know some people who decided to never leave their homes and prefer hiding behind their four walls, hoping to be in peace. This cannot be peaceful at all.
In my opinion, a better definition of peace from Merriam Webster is “Freedom from disquieting or oppressive thoughts” or harmony in personal relationships.
For me, living peacefully is as Lady Gaga once said:
“Peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work.
It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.”
In this blog, I’d like to teach some of the most important elements that offer us profound peace. As these can take long to explain, I’ll focus on one at a time per blog.
First Element of Peace
I don’t know when the practice of blaming started for humanity, but most likely with Adam and Eve. It’s as if we love to blame. It’s so less painful to point the finger at everyone else for our perceived lack.
As I explained in a prior blog, victimhood exists, but it has an expiration date; everything after that is our decision. Accepting responsibility is when one of the greatest miracles can occur.
Accepting responsibility is having an “aha” moment and realizing it’s up to you to change. It’s recognizing that you possess the power to build your life by directing your thoughts and making intuitive decisions (those based on mind and heart).
I knew someone who blamed her older sister for her overweight, saying, “She gave me so many vitamins when I was a girl, and she got me overweight.” I asked her, “How long ago was that?” “40 years,” she said. She honestly thought it was those vitamins that she was given back then. She couldn’t see that her habits she refused to change now kept her overweight.
The true miracle occurs when you’re honest with yourself and can admit, “I’ve had enough of this. I’ve made wrong decisions before; I’m not always right. I want to change; where do I start?”
I strongly believe many diseases can be changed by a shift in perception. You can perceive a scenario as fearful and turn your immune system off to run for the exit, but you can also see it as an opportunity. It’s up to you.
When you take responsibility for your own life and find yourself at the steering wheel of your life, you’ll experience ongoing peace.
Steps toward taking responsibility
- See yourself in the mirror. If you don’t like something, CHANGE IT or, at the very least, change how you perceive it. Find out what you need to learn to change it. Don’t settle with the first answer; don’t take the easy route. It won’t take you to the real transformation you need. Only true desire, perseverance, and self-discipline will transform you.
- If you don’t like your job, learn a new career. Train yourself in something else, educate yourself, and change it.
- If you don’t like your environment, plan to move somewhere else. Study other options, prepare yourself, grab courage, and leave.
Realize you’re not as powerless as you think; you just need courage and action.